Irish News , Features & Sport

Is anyone else starting to find Canadian “celebrity astronaut” Commander Chris Hadfield a little bit annoying? What with his tweeting and singing and constant picture taking of our Emerald Isle. Does he not have space work to be doing rather than instagramming himself in green bow ties and covering Van Morrison tracks with The Chieftains? When he comes back down you can guarantee he’ll be sitting next to Tubridy on the Late Late, buddying up with Bono NIB would bet. Chuh.

In the last year up till the end of January potato prices have risen by 187 per cent. One-hundred and eighty-seven per cent. Jesus. Did anyone know about this? Why wasn’t News in Brief told? Surely this will have major implications on the unsuspecting root veg that forms a large part of our daily diets. Forget cash for gold, cash for crisps is more like it. Comfortingly prices of pigs and calves have remained pretty static – what with the run on horse meat.

Spuds may be up but RTE’s taxi bill is down. The national broadcaster has been doing their bit by reducing their average taxi costs by 12 per cent, not quite a sack of spuds but every little helps. Still their total bill for the year came to €269,298, not the €360,700 initially reported by The Independent (incorrectly supplied by RTE ’in good faith’ whatever that means). Well spent. We wouldn’t want anyone getting their hair wet.

Perhaps it was a bit harsh to have a go at old Commander Hadfield, after all he has provided us with some lovely shots of Ireland from the air for less than a taxi from RTE and a bag of chips. All the bits of the country not covered in wind turbines that is. Those filthy, industrial, death bringing machines (NIB has found a new direction for our ire). That’s right, they’re killing us all. Killing might be a bit strong, but they’re bloody annoying. All right, not really annoying, but THEY EXIST. A group of families in North Cork really don’t like them and are launching a case against the company behind their local turbines, citing they are negatively impacting on their health as well as causing significant noise pollution. Similar cases are now being prepared for other sites, including Wexford and the potential site planned for the midlands is making everyone anxious. However Tim Cowhig, CEO of one of the developers, Element Power, said there is no scientific evidence to link wind turbines to ill health. It’s all just hot air.

Ouch that was a bad one. Anyway, moving on. In lovely celeb news Niall Horan’s (of the 1D) big brother is getting married, in secret, in six days. Greg Horan told the Herald on Thursday it was “crazy having to keep the date of your own wedding secret” with “just seven days” to go. Let’s hope someone points him in the right direction on the big day.

You can put lipstick on a pig but, oh no wait, you can’t anymore. Animal rights activists have recently won a landmark battle to prevent the testing of cosmetics on animals. Hurrah! But now what is NIB meant to do on a rainy afternoon?*

*NIB does not advocate putting lipstick on pigs, however covering chickens in body glitter . . .